Life Advice: Mom to mom. Friend to friend. Human to human.
When I was a new mom—or about to become one—I received a piece of advice that stuck with me: the stage you’re in is the hardest. At first, it might sound oversimplified or even self-righteous, but as I’ve lived through different seasons of motherhood, business, and life, I’ve come to see the truth in it.
Think about how often we hear the counter-phrases like, “Just wait until they’re teenagers,” or “You think this is tough? Just wait until…” These comments, often said in spite, come from a place of shared experience. Yet, each phrase comes from a phase. The one the expresse-e is in.
So, really, the one you’re in is the hardest, friend. You got this. And there are others who have been there… but they are in their own kind of hard right now. We all need grace. We all need community.
Every Stage Brings Its Own Hard
Recently, I had a passing conversation with a mom of teenagers. We chatted about how tough it can feel raising kids at any age. What came out of this conversation was: “What you’re going through now is hard [in part] because you’ve never been through it before. When your kids were toddlers, that felt hard too—but only because you didn’t know what came next.”
As we talked, I realized this applies to more than just parenting. Earlier that day, I’d spoken with a coach who’s just starting her business. She’s in that early, scrappy phase where everything feels new, exciting and scary. It reminded me of when I was in her shoes three or four years ago. At the time, growing my business one-on-one for 1:1 clients felt like climbing a mountain, each one getting easier.
Now, I look back on that stage and think, “Wow, that was easy compared to now!” But it wasn’t easy then. The difference is I’ve been through it and gained perspective. The stage I’m in now is the hardest—because I’m in it.
Finding Humility and Connection
This realization has been humbling. And I have meditated on it for a few days before writing it out here. Whether it’s motherhood, entrepreneurship, or even helping a friend through something hard, we all face challenges that feel insurmountable in the moment. As a coach, I’m reminded of the privilege I have – to walk alongside people in stages I’ve already been through. Hello, humility.
It’s easy to say, “You’ll get through this,” or “It gets better,” but the truth is, no one feels that in the thick of their struggle. What we need is compassion—a willingness to meet others where they are without minimizing their experience.
Just because you see a way out or have been through, doesn’t mean they do yet. Insert more humility.
The Struggle Shapes the Vision
In a recent small group discussion, we talked about the tension of ‘struggle’. (( My third conversation on this in a 72 hours… I think God is trying to teach me something! )) Our friend, a pastor shared how he’d wrestled with preparing a lesson for his students this past week. He spent two days in frustration, questioning if the effort was even going to strike the cords he was struggling to tune his lesson to. But when the moment came, and he taught the lesson, he realized the struggle had been part of the purpose. Because his heart was in it.
Sometimes, the difficulty we face points us toward a greater mission. The vision of what could be gives meaning to the struggle. That’s true whether you’re a parent managing chaos, an entrepreneur chasing a dream, or a friend supporting someone through loss. Or all three!
Choosing Grace Over Comparison
One of the most powerful lessons, even just recently in these three conversations mentioned, I’ve learned is to stop comparing my current challenges to someone else’s—or even to my own past. Every stage of life asks something new of us. Instead of dwelling on how hard it feels, we can choose to shift our perspective:
- Acknowledge the struggle without letting it define you. Positive self-talk.
- Lean on those who’ve been where you are. Community. Relationship.
- Find purpose in the work, knowing it’s shaping your future. The Pathway.
Above all, be kind—to yourself and others. Because no matter where we are, the stage we’re in is hard. And that’s okay. We’re learning, growing, and building resilience with every step.
